If you talk with some conservatives they will tell you that shame has value in society.  The common argument is that if you remove shame from actions that break-down society there is nothing to motivate people to fight their urges and to do the right thing.

A Classic Example: Putting Shame in the Right Places Where Children Are Involved

the men who father children and walk away should be shamed to the extreme

There is some truth in this idea of shame controlling behavior.  The is no-longer shame in sex outside of marriage, we now see it on TV and we have an explosion of births outside of marriage.  No one should ever think a single mother loves her child less than married parents. Being a single mother should never come with shame, it is an act of making what one has work with love.  But it is a much harder job, so we need to remind people to avoid the behavior that causes this.  Having unprotected sex outside of marriage should have enough shame that it happens less. However, the men who father children and walk away should be shamed to the extreme and they are not.

Frankly I would also put shame on those who could scale down lifestyle and have one parent at home with a young child, but instead hand the kid to a nanny so they can afford a nicer house or car.  [I took time off from my career to raise our child for the first 18 months. We sold our house to make this happen.]  When the child was old enough to benefit from socialization, we used some daycare and lots of at home time.

Conservatives vs Liberals on Shame

they have at times created a deeper institutionalized shame that like many taxes may be hidden, but costs just as much.

Conservatives tend to believe that actions have consequence and that those consequences good or bad are what help us choose the right behavior.  Because of this they don't have a strong motivation to engineer shame out of society.
Liberals tend to want to create an even playing field for everyone and tend to assume circumstances vs actions determine one's place in life.  So they have been on an active path to remove shame from society.  I think their intentions are well meant.  However, they not only have suppressed the benefits of shame in guiding people to more productive behavior they have at times created a deeper institutionalized shame that like many taxes may be hidden, but costs just as much.

The "Shame" of Halloween

Out of that need to make due with less came creativity and a chance for my parents to model problem solving

It was the annual attack on Halloween that inspired me to write this post.  Some schools are again banning costumes partially to avoid the shame that might come from some students not having the money to wear a fancy store-bought costume.  This is done to avoid the "shame" of being poor.
What? There is shame in being poor?  Your economics should not create shame, only how you deal with it. 

Herman Cain has declared how poor he was when he grew up. His dad's drive to create a better life for his kids lead him to work three jobs and eventually gain the trust of a Coke executive as a chauffeur. Cain later used what his dad created to gain access to the business world in the southern US even as America was coming to terms with a badly need civil rights act.  So his dad working hard without shame, created opportunity for his son to move further.

When I grew up only my dad worked and we had a mortgage so we weren't poor but we didn't have money for fancy costumes.  Mine were always home made.   Out of that need to make due with less came creativity and a chance for my parents to model problem solving.  Frankly, if you have it too easy I think it inhibits growth.. how many children of means do we see become famous for flaming out?

Shame and Comfort

Preventing suffering is an act of kindness, preventing discomfort can be interference in someone's chance to grow

Which is worse for a kid, to come to school as a hobo or some other homemade costume or to be told that being poor is such a shameful thing to see, that their entire school can't have Halloween?  I think  the later message creates a deeper shame without the opportunity to overcome the barrier.

There are studies to show that people economically will live in whatever "comfort zone" they have learned.  That is why some work 16 hour days to have money and others don't feel a need to get the training needed to move into better paying work.  They may want more free time or more stuff, but both extremes have become comfortable with their economic place.  While there are good intentions to helping the poor, and we should work hard to prevent hunger and make sure all kids can go to a good school any program that makes poverty more comfortable also works against breaking the poverty cycle.  It is a sad catch 22.  Preventing suffering is an act of kindness, preventing discomfort can be interference in someone's chance to grow.

Shame and Race

How can we celebrate and embrace our differences if we make some of them unmentionable?

There should never be shame for how one is born either because of heredity or accidents that may bring disability.  Shame that can not bring positive change is counter productive. Shame for things that can not be changed actually is about others creating artificial comfort for who they are.  Racism is about holding others down, because you do not know how to build yourself up.  Racism not only hurts the person it is aimed at, it creates a comfort zone for the racist to avoid the hard work of building real self-esteem.

Liberal Shame About Race

No child should have to ask, "Am I unmentionable?"

We see unspoken shame with some liberals.  The say, "We can't do this because...," it might bring out the differences, like race or religion etc.  Schools avoid managing teaching moments about difference that are real real by trying to avoiding seeing differences.  The question is how many kids who see themself as different read this as some kind of shame that is soo bad they the school has to change things for them?  No child should have to ask, "Am I unmentionable?"

Another exampled happened years ago when on a liberal talk-show, the host refereed to an actress as the African American.  She was then attacked by callers for pointing out the race.  Why??!!  I was a big fan of the show and the actress she was talking about was my "crush" on the show.  She had a deep rich dark skin and big brown eyes!  She was gorgeous!  Yet in some perversion of trying to avoid racism callers convinced the host it was racist to point out that she was black or African American.  OMG!  This was an act of shaming the actress for her ethnicity. Like a stain on her dress or spinach in her teeth, race was not to be mentioned in "polite society." 

Its a complicated issue.  Liberals run studies and create forms to sort us by race trying to spot racisim, then at times get all jumpy when race is used as a descriptor as if seeing race is bad.  Is is bad to see blue eyes or red hair?  Why is it bad to see skin color or brown eyes etc.? It shouldn't be.

We have a black president.  I think he has made bad choices, but that has nothing to do with race so his race should NEVER be used as a descriptor in critical comments or signs of protests.  It doesn't matter.  In the short term Obama's policies are hurting the country.  In the long-term he has removed the impression that we can only have white presidents because he wasn't willing to buy into the idea that his race made him unelectable. Good for him.. too many assume before they try that there is enough racism to stop them  There is racism, but over and over we see success that shows it is not a barrier just an added obstacle that this country cheers being overcome.

One of the more truly racist comments about Obama I have heard in years came from Chris Mathews after Obama gave an effective "State of the Union" speech.  In a moment of ugly honesty, Mathews said "For an hour I forgot Obama was black."  Wow! think about the opinions he must hold for most blacks that an hour of successful communication counters how Mathew's sees blacks.  Is this an insight into how some liberals see blacks so much that they cringe when ethnicity is used as a as neutral or positive descriptor?

How can we celebrate and embrace our differences if we make some of them unmentionable?

The Shame of Being Hidden

Don't end Halloween to hide differences, create a Halloween where the differences are celebrated

Classic racism is an abuse of the emotion of shame, placing it on others for things they can't  and shouldn't want to change to create artificial esteem for others. However!  Placing race, economics or religion on the list of "unmentionables" that some liberals do places shame where there should be none.  Don't end Halloween to hide differences, create a Halloween where the differences are celebrated.  And please don't assume noticing someone's race is is any worse than noticing their hair color. This only brings shame to differences.

These differences should not be placed in a liberal "Do Not Mention" list.  Trying to remove shame in all cases is not productive, we need to be smarter about who deserves shame and who does not.

I had to pause the debate and write this I was so mad at Bachmann and Sanatorum.

Bachmann and Santorum just fell off their high moral road with lies meant to scare people about the 999 Plan.  We have a 35% corperate tax on profits now, loaded with special interest credits and deals paid for by lobbyists.  Cain wants to take it to 9% without all the credits and loopholes and tax business profits.

A VAT tax taxes good and services adding to the cost of doing busines before profits.  It has nothing in common with Herman's Corp. Tax.  Bachmann was either a very bad tax attorney, or she bore false wittiness against Herman Cain tonight making her a Faux Christian.

Santorum who I had lots of respect for even if I disagreed with him on some social stands, joined in the lies tonight.  Morality is not what you do when things are easy, its what you choose when things are tough and both Sen. Santorum and Rep. Bachmann chose to lie.

Frankly the GOP should be done with them for all offices.  If there is a GOP challenger in her congressional district I will be donating to get the liar out of congress.

Lying about 999 to scare people when you are out of the race in reality is just helping Obama if Cain is the nominee and getting in the way of real tax reform for whoever wins.  All to feed their personal egos.

I have as much respect for any GOP candidate willing to lie in a primary against another candidate as I have for Al Gore.. NONE!!

If you turned on the news this morning just as Romney was speaking in Nevada, you would have sworn it was an endorsement for Herman Cain!  He was telling the crowd "we don't need another career politician, we need someone from the private sector who knows how to create jobs."

This appears to be a very clumsy attempt to steal Herman Cain's message because he doesn't have one of his own that is working. But in the end it only reminds us Cain has not spent most of his recent years running for office, he has joined this race as one of us, a citizen who wants a better America for his grand daughter.

Romney has private sector experience, but he clearly is also a career politician.  So when he says "we don't need another career politician," he makes a stronger case for Cain than for himself!

So as a Herman Cain supporter, I would like to thank the Romney team for reminding us why Cain is the difference we need to turn America around.  
Thanks Team Romney!

Interesting news this week.

Huntsman and Gingrich campaigns are now in Debt with very little to show for it.

Perry and Romney are swimming in money and moving in the wrong direction.

What do all four have in common?  They learned bad management in the government!

This week Herman Cain has shot to the front, the establishment is saying he can't be a leader without spending more money on the ground. But he has managed his lead, with good communication using the new media and honest messages that don't feel like they were focus group tested and shrink wrapped for our protection.

Remember when the establishment says "you need a ground organization," they mean you need to curry favor with all the establishment political operatives we have in place in states like Iowa and New Hampshire.   What if Cain bypasses the blessing of an establishment trained to trade power and money for votes and influence and just talks to the people and earns their votes the honest way?

Cain is leading the pack, with less money and no debt!  Isn't this just the model we want for America?
Effective, restrained spending that finds new ways to do what others assume takes big money.

This is a record we need to pay attention to!  How a man leads his campaign is going to tell you a lot about how he will lead America.

It’s been a while since I have written.  Family and job searching, then job starting all takes a ton of time.  But I have a moment and I wanted to talk about Herman Cain.
Early on I was drawn to him.  I like his attitude; we need someone who looks at America and smiles, even when times are tough.   Cain doesn't do this because some focus group measured how much smile would help him, he does it because he has seen how bad it can get and he has seen what work and faith can create.

Cain's Life Matters
Herman Cain didn't grow up in the isolation of the tropical paradise of Hawaii or even the comfort of an establish political family.  He grew up in the cold, hard ugly that was the segregated south.  He hasn't had it easy, he has worked his way to success by being smart and getting along with people, even as he changed what need to be changed to turn around struggling businesses. He earned his success from real action, not charisma and politics. Then after all that success he was hit with multi-organ stage-four cancer.  I am a firm believer that attitude is key to surviving the attack of cancer then the poison of drugs that are used to kill it.  It is a measure of a person to survive and then take on life without fear.
I hear stuffed shirts like Bill O'Reilly dismiss him because of his lack of governmental experience.    This lack of vision has made me angry; I hated it when people like O’Reilly censor poll results because they don’t see what is possible. I apologize to Bill for some of my tweets, but he really abdicated his obligations for a while when it came to reporting Cain’s successes. Report the news honestly, then tells us what you think I am fine with that, but don’t hide the news you don’t like.
What Bill and others in all the media outlets seem to miss is that the government is only about 25% of the economy.  Yet no one questions electing someone who has never worked outside the government.  Today, we need someone who understands the other 75%.   They can hire someone who has worked in politics to advise them how to get real solutions passed.

Cain's Vision and View of Himself Matters
If I got the idea that Cain on his election would erect roman columns and stand alone on a stage as if HE won without the hard work of thousands and as if HE was smart enough to know it all, I might be worried.  But Cain clearly is comfortable with his own skin and with his limitations and is running to save the nation for his grand-kids, not as some teenage fantasy of success to fulfill. He is there because he feels a need the nation has, not because he needs to prove something.
He knows what he wants, a strong America that is loyal to its allies and an economy that can grow and offer opportunity to everyone on their terms, not the terms of a government program.  A smart man with a clear vision, who is honest, can build a team to get things done.
Both of those key visions are missing from our current president and even from some of the GOP candidates.

Where I Disagree
Do I agree with him on everything? of course not. 
I think he is smart to watch for the slow creep of Sharia law into our system, like it has in parts of Europe.  BUT I think he has over stated the problem and has gotten off message.  I suspect most Muslim immigrants are here because they can worship in their one faith without fear of attack from a competing sect of Islam, just as the pilgrims came here to avoid persecution by other Christians.  And most of those who choose the faith as Americans are just looking for a relationship with God that works for them.  For many Muslims the politicization and even militarization of Islam is as big a problem for them as it is for us watching on the outside.  It’s too easy to use broad language that sweeps these devout Americans into the wrong part of the discussion.  BTW, when a Muslim is elected I expect him to swear his oath on the Quran as I want the oath to protect our Constitution be sworn on what he olds holy in his life.
I also am very libertarian on Gay rights.  The legal term of “marriage” is woven throughout our laws and contracts.  It is a waste of money to rewrite everything to say "marriage and domestic partnership.”  Gays who want to commit and create a legal bond in their relationships should be able to do that.  But only if it comes from a vote of the people or an elected legislative body, it’s too important a change for judicial fiat. 
That said, I understand concerns people have in trying to protect marriage.  But the assault on marriage is not coming from people who value it, and are different from us.  It comes from those that avoid it and raise children without the protections and commitment of marriage and those that change spouses as often as they buy a new home.  And while I respect the faith of those that I disagree with politically on this issue, I ask that you at least get honest in your reasons.  "Biblical marriage" is often one man and several women, but I don't see you working for polygamy.  This is about what you feel is best for marriage and what you feel God wants from you.  The problem is the government is not God, and has not been since we got rid of the monarchy so let’s not return to that idea of the government enforcing the laws of God. 
I hope Cain is smart enough to know the Constitution is best when it limits the federal government’s reach, not when it is used to enforce a unified standard.  Marriage is an issue for the states, not an issue for our Constitution.

Back to Cain
This nation is depressed and scared.  Its current leader only shows passion when he is attacking other Americans for political gain.  Much like Reagan, who showed us a new morning in America, I think Cain can show us the light breaking at the end of this storm.
Humans are flawed; some give and some are selfish.  Some are honest and some are crooked.  Sometimes we see angels among us and sometimes humans create evil.
What the founding fathers knew is that liberty allows for us to adapt to our failings and that the opportunity for great success only happens when there is opportunity for failure.  Each time we have tried to either engineer the race to perfection as in the progressive eugenics movements of the early 20th century or tried to engineer the society as in the Soviet Union or even a socialized Europe we create failure, because we also control the greatness that we can achieve.

What I See in Herman Cain
In Cain I see someone who knows this truth.  He sees the greatness in all Americans and might even feel anger when some are "brainwashed" to believe their only hope is a strong, controlling government.  He knows from his own life that even in the face of what can be cruel circumstances, Americans can achieve greatness when they are accountable to themselves and their community.
When Cain speaks, I hear the voice of an America that has seen hard times but knows it can be great again when it puts aside fear and once again is excited by the idea that we can do the impossible.  Cain is trying to do the impossible, put a child once told to drink from a "coloreds only" water fountain into the White House as the leader of the free world.

I am excited about doing the impossible and support Herman Cain as our best choice for President in 2012.